Never Accept A Limit Of One Ice Cream Scoop

Is there really such a creature out there as a person who will only eat one ice cream scoop on his cone or in his ice cream cup? (Which leads to the side question, why do some people prefer a cup as opposed to a cone? Mental illness?) Seriously, some just eats one ice cream scoop? No one eats just one ice cream scoop!

The whole purpose of eating ice cream is to eat as much ice cream as one can consume in the quickest amount of time possible so as to totally avoid sharing any of his or her ice cream with anyone. Selfishness is generally not an revered trait, but when it comes to eating ice cream, selfishness is totally acceptable.

The purpose of ice cream is to gorge upon it. And in order to do that, one must forgo with just having one ice cream scoop. No, what is ultimately preferred is piling up two scoops. No, make it three scoops all piled up one on top of the other! Four is a bit risky. It can be attempted but more than likely, the fourth scoop will fall off and land on the dirt. And don’t pick it up and eat it if it fell in the dirt. Leave it alone. Only be gluttonous with those edible objects that are bereft of any ants swarming upon them.

If one is deciding to spend the rest of one’s life under a vow of poverty, then it may be acceptable to limit oneself to a single ice cream scoop. If one is living a worldly and secular life, then one must consume as many ice cream scoops as one can in one sitting without caring or worrying what anyone else thinks. To do otherwise would be uncivilized.